I rarely think about you these days. You just seem like another New Age guru-type who made enough off naive followers to retire in style. There are sure alot of them. The scriptures of your tradition say that in Kali Yuga the world will be filled with false teachers scamming those naive enough to follow them.
I had a great longing for god, for a teacher capable of pointing me towards full awakening. I read too many books about "spiritual experiences" and thought you were the real deal when I started having those "golden experiences" you said were "signs we were making progress on the path". I didn't realize you meant the "path" towards greater Delusion. Oh gurumayi, don't you know that experiences come and go? that they are not what is real? That Truth is found right here and now, always available, simple and quiet: "what is"..no need for silk cushions, darshan baskets filled with gold bracelets, courses and intensives, altered states and all the rest.
You taught me something. But not what I expected and not what was touted by you and by your "swamis". I feel so much sympathy for the broken hearted devotees. May we all realize together (including you, gurumayi) that the Truth of our Being-ness cannot be given to us by someone else.
an older and wiser person
I had a great longing for god, for a teacher capable of pointing me towards full awakening. I read too many books about "spiritual experiences" and thought you were the real deal when I started having those "golden experiences" you said were "signs we were making progress on the path". I didn't realize you meant the "path" towards greater Delusion. Oh gurumayi, don't you know that experiences come and go? that they are not what is real? That Truth is found right here and now, always available, simple and quiet: "what is"..no need for silk cushions, darshan baskets filled with gold bracelets, courses and intensives, altered states and all the rest.
You taught me something. But not what I expected and not what was touted by you and by your "swamis". I feel so much sympathy for the broken hearted devotees. May we all realize together (including you, gurumayi) that the Truth of our Being-ness cannot be given to us by someone else.
an older and wiser person
7 comments:
Your message sounds like the kind of shift the guru's teachings ultimately pointed to over and over, focusing on what is free from externals even in the midst of the externals, finding grace and refuge inside yourself, relating to the universal guru that doesn't require an airplane ticket or six roommates, even though such times may have given us the ability to shift beyond them. Seems like creating a space for this shift could be part of the purpose for closing down the external accessibility to the path (with or without the anger and resentment depending on how each individual needs to process things).
I would have to disagree with the "anonymous" who posted above.
I myself left Siddha Yoga almost 5 years ago and do not regret leaving. I currently feel no deep rancor but do wish the spiritual leader and the foundation managers of the movement would own up and come clean and directly address the abuses that the people on EXSY accuse them of. It would "clear the air" for many.
Additionally, despite what "anonymous" above wrote, my wife is still very much involved with Siddha Yoga and clearly pines for the old days when the spiritual leader was available, when the facilities were open to frequent visitation and lodging, and pines for just the mere shred of hope she will physically reconnect with the movement's spiritual leader again. It is hard for me to see her in such pain. She literally has so much of her identity wrapped up in being the leader's devotee that I think she feels lost and confused as to who she really is, with Siddha Yoga in the state of the "shift" that anonymous above refers to.
It makes me feel somewhat angry that the spiritual leader and the managers of the foundation can't simply "cut the umbilical cord" so that people like my wife can let their worlds crash, pick themselves up, dust themselves off after going through what would certainly be a grieving period...and give them the ability to move on. This would be the compassionate path. I can only conclude that the spiritual leader and the management of the foundation have no interest in offering such compassion. My position is: Either get back into the availability role, or "let thy people go" and let them move on.
Another thing that truly bothers me: The intensive offered this month: $500 for the very same video that was shown last year, a total rehash of something already shown. And not even a video of the spiritual leader herself, but of underling swamis.
This is a message to SYDA Foundation, particularly the people who decide the pricing of intensives and programs: The United States of America is currently still in the midst of the WORST financial and economic crisis since the Great Depression of the early part of the last century. Many, MANY people are out of work and struggling to survive. Many would have wanted to take that intensive...rehash or not...but simply could NOT AFFORD to drop that kind of money down.
Question: Have the spiritual leader and the executives and managers of SYDA Foundation, at least those responsible for North American pricing, ever crunched the numbers and compared the revenue income from the greater number of people who might have taken that intensive had the price been dropped to something more reasonable given the current state of economic, financial, and employment affairs? Say, $200 to $250? Has the analysis been done to assess whether the increased number of attendees at an intensive at a lower price, would generate greater profit than keeping the intensive out of the financial reach of many? The kinds of people in my region of the USA that took that intensive were either older empty-nesters, single people with no family committments, or couples with no children. In all cases, people with money to burn, and generally older and with financial resources freely available to drop on a one-day video intensive.
I would question the motivations of keeping the price of an intensive so high during this time of economic challenge. I can only conclude that it's hard to avoid feeling like there is an element of greed involved in not adjusting pricing at this time. Or, at least, a lack of compassion, which is consistent with my observation above.
>>"It makes me feel somewhat angry that the spiritual leader and the managers of the foundation can't simply "cut the umbilical cord" so that people like my wife can let their worlds crash, pick themselves up, dust themselves off after going through what would certainly be a grieving period...and give them the ability to move on""<<<
thanks anonymous2,
I wrote the "you taught me" post and that was my experience: cutting the oord, crashing and picking up the pieces. NONE of what I finally realized came while I was in siddha yoga, quite the opposite...and NONE of what I realized was the result of some "shift" that happened through siddha yoga...unless you can think of the time I spent there as a lesson in "Neti Neti"...not this and not that. It took leaving the yoga, a 6 year deep immersion in the authentic tradition skimmed over in siddha yoga, alot of loss, heartbreak, self-reflection, anger, sadness and growth..to finally come to see the truth of it...that the guru herself is not aware of the Truth...so how can she possibly point others towards it? I tried to make that point but, apparently, I wasn't clear in my post.
If a path is built on delusion, all that "closing down the external accessibility to the path" does is force devotees deeper into projection, magical thinking, childish ritualistic behavior and self-deception. It's always "easier" to worship a dead guru or absent guru. You can think almost anything you like and justify it, as evidenced by the behavior of so many followers of Ramana Maharshi who claim "enlightement" and "lineage" based on someone they never met and who would have probably gently shown them the door. The purpose of having a guru is a DIRECT PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with someone who has "realized". And I mean a PERSONAL relationship, something other than worship from afar or annointing photos with kum kum.
older and wiser
Dear Older and Wiser,
I'm the 2nd anonymous who commented on the 1st anonymous' post. I suppose what really irked me about that post was the focus on, as they said it "Seems like creating a space for this shift could be part of the purpose for closing down the external accessibility to the path".
From what I gather, that statement seems like nothing other than mere parroting what SYDA appears to be telling the devotees as a means of "selling in" the virtual closure of the main ashram facilities to the public as well as Malti's "disappearing act". Mere parroting of the words someone else tells you is a sign that someone doesn't really WANT to think for themselves, or doesn't really WANT to face up to a difficult truth, or both.
When you say "all that "closing down the external accessibility to the path" does is force devotees deeper into projection, magical thinking, childish ritualistic behavior and self-deception", I must say that you're absolutely correct. Particularly after observing what the door-closing and the disappearing act have done to my wife's behavior with SY. She has at times pushed herself even harder to do all the things that a sincere "siddhayogi" is supposed to do, engages in the silliest self-criticism, even self-hatred, when she CAN'T accomplish all that especially while being a busy primary caretaker for our daughter when I'm out working and earning the family's finances, and utter despondency sometimes when she can't do all of that or feels like her "practices" have been lost to her. She'll bitterly complain "I haven't done ANYTHING!", meaning she hasn't done her SY practices regularly.
It never appears to occur to her to be happy she's offering the highest possible seva and doing the highest possible dharma by simply being the best possible mom to a very difficult daughter.
For some reason, SY seems to foster a very strong mental and emotional undercurrent of "no matter how much I do, it's never enough". The ability to simply be satisfied with the good life one has appears to get brainwashed out of many of SY's people.
Which is sad. If one's obsession with trying to accomplish everything SYDA tells people they need to do obliterates people's ability to just be happy enduring the trials and tribulates as well as to be happy enjoying the simple pleasures of everyday life, then I've just got to ask the SY community: What GOOD does SY really DO anyone?
Dear older and wiser, congratulations, you know what you are.That is what "the path" is all about. You are right on the money when you pose the question " do you know the underlying reality GM"? No 'she doesn't nor does the young Nityananda know it. A genuine knower will work with you person to person for as long as it takes for you to see what is being pointed to and will expect NOTHING in return! I have also been fortunate enough to find such a teacher/ friend.The great benifit of having been in SY. from 79 to 84 was that when I left I knew what a true teacher was not! The best thing that could happen for all concerned is for the whole of SY to be dissolved including the Nityananda branch and give every one the chance to start anew. Any one who beleives that they can find who or what they are without some hours of one on one with a genuine knower are deluding themselves. How to find such a genuine one? They will only have a small group of FRIENDS for students because they know that each one needs thier personal instruction and they can only give that to a small number at one time. Interestingly most of these teachers are rejected by the masses as they don't seem to have much to offer. There is no organisation to join. There are no practices given, there are no retreats or dogmas or creeds. It is all done by westerners in english no foreign culture claptrap. Most "seekers" don't want the real deal the want to stay within the mind, they want to "get" something when there is only one thing to get and that is that there is nothing to get, Brab Halfacre.
Dear older and wiser,congratulations, you know what you are.You see now that GM does not know that underlying reality of being.Nityananda also knows it not but continues to give the impression that he can help. He cant.The best for all concerned would be for GM to dissolve the whole organisation and let everyone get on with their lives.In my experience those that do know and teach have very small numbers of students because they will spend as much time with each one as necessary,one on one and that excludes large numbers. My teacher is my friend and mentor and he gave me his phone no. and email adress and asked me to contact him any time I felt like it. One day I was able to ring him and say "Thank you ,I no longer need your help". True teachers are very rare and true seekers are eeven rarer.Brad Halfacre.
Re: For some reason, SY seems to foster a very strong mental and emotional undercurrent of "no matter how much I do, it's never enough".
The ability to simply be satisfied with the good life one has appears to get brainwashed out of many of SY's people.
Which is sad. If one's obsession with trying to accomplish everything SYDA tells people they need to do obliterates people's ability to just be happy enduring the trials and tribulates as well as to be happy enjoying the simple pleasures of everyday life, then I've just got to ask the SY community: What GOOD does SY really DO anyone?
November 4, 2009 3:42 AM
Thanks Anon for this. SY did pile on the need to be 'delighted' at all times with everything, which is just an unreal expectation that dooms you to perpetual disappointment with everyday life. SY also laid ontop of householders a monks schedule which is impossible to achieve. I spent 25+ years utterly sleep deprived.
As you describe everyday life is quite sufficient. My heart goes out to your wife and daughter. REMEDY? One recovering from cult site recommends physical action in the real world of any kind, keep it going. Schedule yourself with reality based activities, commit to doing something for yourself. Hope not to much 'advice'. I empathize completely. This guru has no place in a healthy family. What would she know about one?
Bothers me too that the current website/ SY strategy is targeting children and young people with their sounds nice, but isn't advice from someone who has no advice to give.
Best to you and your family.
Post a Comment