Tuesday, March 13, 2012

John Friend Invents New Asana (open mouth, insert both feet)

Posting the content of the "Elephant" website interview with Friend below. It can be found here, although you must be a member to read any further than the first page, or to access the page more than once.

From where I sit it looks as if Friend has had the benefit of a good deal of "media training" (read PR coaching) as he certainly seems to be master of the lawerly apology-that-admits-nothing-concrete. What do you all think?


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5 Questions for Anusara Yoga’s John Friend regarding “jfexposed” anonymous accusations.

You and I go back for a few years. I like and respect you, as many of us do. That said, there’s obviously a situation here that’s serious, in that it affects people and, since that jfexposed exposé web site and then Yogadork’s blog has had much of the yoga world talking.

I hope you regard the below as tough questions that give you an opportunity to respond as fully as you are able. I acknowledge that there are legal issues that may prevent full answers in some cases, but here are the questions.

So I’d like to ask you five succinct questions.

These questions are important beyond the specific circumstances of what that web site alleged, in that this entire situation, it is my hope, can best serve the international yoga community as an example of honesty, transparency, learning from difficult “teaching moments,” and how we as a community can rise above gossip and rumor, and communicate to one another ethically and with sourced facts. This is why, until now, the only thing elephant has reported on is why we’re not reporting on this situation–until we have non-anonymous/agenda-driven public sources. This is what the NY Times’ Public Editor does, for example.

Reporting gossip and anonymous accusations that hurt real human beings isn’t what we do. This is how we do it: we aspire to deal with difficult situations with patience, guts, transparency, fairness and compassion. We as a community don’t chase gossip. This isn’t fun for anyone, but it can be an opportunity to show the wider world how we deal with crisis and scandal by example.

One final pre-ramble: elephant is not afraid of controversy, and we do not hold ourselves above any other media out there. We simply are aspiring to do responsible journalism—a craft and tradition I respect and aspire to practice. But in situations like this it’s important.

You understand I have to ask tough questions, and in so doing will do you and everyone concerned, on all sides, some small favor by giving this situation some air and light. If I’m accused of being a sycophant here, no one will respect a word you offer.

SITUATION
1. The situation is this: many of your senior teachers—Darren Rhodes, Christina Sell, Elena Brower, Amy Ippoliti, Laura Christensen, have resigned from Anusara over the past few months. We talked about that, you and I, here. Then, on Friday morning, this jfexposed web site, an anonymous web site alleging all sorts of things that we’ll get into here, appeared online. It was quickly passed around the yoga community. When I received it, I was depressed by the material in it, particularly the explicit photos, and asked my friends to stop passing it around. Clearly this was something serious that should be treated as more than gossip or entertainment.

The web site, which was hosted internationally so it was legally difficult to get taken down, alleged various things:
a) that you’d had various relationships, affairs with married women who in some cases have children.
b) That you had run some sort of corrupt pension scheme, which we detail in some legal context here.
c) that you smoked pot and had it shipped around
d) It showed graphic photos (with no face, so seemingly not adding anything to Mr. or Ms. Anonymous’ accusations, and skype screenshots of your conversations).

When I saw this I couldn’t help but think of these women’s families.

FIRST QUESTION
So the first question is, why should anyone care about this interview, when the last time I interviewed you about those teachers leaving, you were not fully honest about why they were leaving?

~

John Friend: First of all, thank you, Waylon, for giving me an opportunity to present my truth in the face of these accusations.

This has been such a painful time for me as I self-reflect on how my personal decisions within my private life have become a source of deep anguish for my friends and community.

I am so deeply sorry for any harm that my actions have caused anyone.

I appreciate the opportunity to clear the record today since not all of the accusations were true, and yet they were posted on the internet six days ago without any verification. These are complicated issues about private matters involving many innocent people, and I will be as open and transparent as I can be. So, again, thank you Waylon for being the first person in the media to ask me about the truth in this matter. Thank you for being patient and waiting for the facts, the truth.

So, to answer your first question, every teacher has their own unique reason for moving on. When you asked me why the teachers left Anusara Yoga in the last few months, I shared with you the official reasons each teacher shared with me. Unequivocally, I can say that none of these teachers told me they were leaving because of these accusations or a problem with my ethical behavior. Every teacher has their own path, and I honor that wholly. I am grateful for the teachers who are standing behind the teachings of Anusara Yoga during this tender moment in time.

~

SECOND QUESTION
WTF? I’m not personally concerned with your relationships, or the relationships of the women who were outed on this web site. That’s not my business, or the business of my readers. I’m not very concerned with the wicca/witch/coven/tantra stuff, I personally find religion generally to be full of wonderful and rich myth and tradition. The Bible, for example, has all kinds of fantastic stories and rites or rituals in it.

But what is our business is ethics, and as a spiritual teacher and leader you are of course held to a higher standard. That said, we’re all adults here and the relationships were consensual, I understand. No one should be put on a pedestal as “perfect” only to be torn down. I don’t worship you, or anyone, and we all need to take responsibility for our own actions. That said, there is a power differential in any kind of intimate relationship between a student and a certified teacher. And while you’re not a medical professional, you have described yourself as a guru.

We all make mistakes. That said, how do you explain your actions, when obviously they have resulted in confusion, pain, and broken families?

~

John Friend: Waylon, first off, I do not use the term “Guru” to describe myself, and work hard to stay away from being so designated. Above all, I am a student of life and yoga, and then a teacher, and the founder of Anusara Yoga.

Secondly, it’s true. Over the course of my private life I have had consenting sexual relationships with women, some of whom have been my students and also my employees, some of which included married women.

It’s not fair for me to explain the intimate details of each relationship in a public forum, nor do I want to further violate the privacy of others as has been the case by this malicious attack. The most important thing to say here is I made some mistakes, yet my intent was never to do harm.

But as the details are spread across the internet, I see clearly where I can rise up as a man, and walk differently in my relationships with women.

~

THIRD QUESTION
Why is whomever is behind jfexposed accused you of all of this? Various web sites have been approached by him/her for some time now, s/he’s been trying to get her/his version of the story out there. Why is s/he seeking some sort of revenge? Are you suing her/him? What’s the overall situation?

~
John Friend: I do not know the motivations behind the viciousness of the attacks. It is clear to me that he has chosen to attack in a malicious, indiscriminate, and likely illegal way, which has been so hurtful and damaging to so many innocent people.

It should be noted that neither Anusara nor I have ever been in a lawsuit.

Lastly, I am practicing compassion for this guy, although very difficult, and yet I have no hate. I only pray for peace and healing for all.

~

FOURTH QUESTION
Pension? Below our readers will see a legal document exonerating Anusara of accusations of impropriety. But what’s the story with that, from your pov?

~

John Friend: As you can see from the following documents and public statements, here is the entire story regarding the pension.

> Pension Documents here.

~

FIFTH AND FINAL QUESTION
Going forward, on a personal level, how are you going to wake up and grow as a human being? Has this situation helped?

On a professional level—if it’s possible to separate the two as perhaps the world’s most famous and successful yoga teacher—do you have a career left? Will you be teaching? What’s going to happen with your community? Are more senior teachers going to leave? Will you be leading teacher trainings over the next 12 months?

On a greater community level, how can we all use this as a learning experience for how to rise above gossip and yet still be painfully, bravely transparent both as individuals, as a community, and in elephant’s case, as media?

~

John Friend: This is quite the one question!

…Study and practice is my life, and teaching is my dharma, which brings me the greatest joy.

I am awake to choices I have made that have opened the door for others to question who I am, and I know this is ultimately a gift. I am committed to being transparent and open, which I have not always been. To this end, I am fully evolving as a man, teacher and friend in the community and on this planet.

For the community, my deepest hope is this brings us closer together, in a more intimate and honest conversation around life. Some students and teachers will inevitably decide to move on, others will become more involved and take an expanded leadership role within the Anusara organization.

So, I envision the future of Anusara as including greater cooperation from all of our community.

We must all remember that any mis-steps by me do not invalidate any of the greatness of the Anusara yoga method.

I bravely step into the person I am today, and I am becoming in every moment. At once this is both deeply humbling and also a gift.

~

My best wishes and compassion to all involved. Thanks, John, for sitting down for these difficult questions.

I understand this situation is fully within a legal context and expect that you will be somewhat limited in your ability to answer. [editor's note: John and his friends did not ask me to get rid of any questions or say they couldn't answer anything above]. That’s not my concern. My job is to ask the questions thoroughly and fairly. I hope I’ve done that, and offer this interview in service to enlightened society.

I don’t personally find that exposed site fair, kind or helpful to you, the other persons concerned, or even the accuser. I think any of us could be exposed in such a way, with 80% being true and 20% agenda-driven anonymous stuff poisoning the lot. However, I do hope that site and yogadork’s report, and now this interview, plus your statement and document re: pension exoneration can ultimately be helpful.

We all need to learn to be more transparent and, as students, less caught up in rockstar syndrome. We can all embrace empowered non-theism as we Buddhists call it, and be kinder to one another as a community.

Deep breath! And deep bow to all concerned.

Yours in service as the ultimate smile,

Waylon

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

OK, I'll attempt a comment on Friend's interview here, since Seekher was asking about it... Friend definitely can talk up a storm & no one has ever found him at a loss for word. Some of it sounds so heart-felt, you want to believe him. It is all very carefully worded, so nothing would be too concrete.

As Seekher alluded to, he has had a lot of training, and I think spontaneous eloquence was always one of his talents that made him so convincing as a teacher. We know how convincing & beautiful GM's words always sounded to us. And probably he has himself conned into believing it, too, to some degree.

He gave this interview a few days before a big workshop in Miami, around Valentine's Day, Feb 14. At that workshop, many of his senior teachers tried to talk to him about not teaching, or at least not teaching anything but the asana parts. Their argument was that this was not the time for him to be in the seat of the teacher.

He didn't listen to them, & taught all the teaching parts of the workshop anyway. So in the middle of this huge controversy, he taught a workshop on "The Dharma of Relationships", of all things! More senior teachers resigned after that event. Bernadette Birney said in the Elephant Journal, that is was just too much to hear him teach on that subject, after his own serious transgressions in that arena. (Can't find the link to that right now)

More in the next post ...
Free At Last

Anonymous said...

Here is Bernadette's clear analysis of a letter that John Friend sent to his teachers, another attempt at damage control. I appreciate how she is taking a close look at the language he uses:

"In that spirit, here are my thoughts on John Friend’s latest letter to the teachers about the future of Anusara yoga.

John Friend writes:

“Three weeks ago private information about me was posted on an illicit website in order to harm me, Anusara yoga, and all those named on the site. Although there has been no investigation or verification of the claims, a wide range of intense reactions and judgments has divided our community.”

This paragraph–in fact the entire letter–is full of troubling passive language. For example, “private information about me was posted on an illicit website in order to harm me…,” and, “…a wide range of intense reactions and judgments has divided our community.” This passive language carefully creates the impression that the circumstances we find ourselves in have somehow just happened to us, rather than being the result of John’s misconduct.

The passivity of the language makes John appear to be the victim of a situation beyond his control. Let us remember that this is not the case. John is not the victim in this situation. Lest attention be diverted away from the actual victims here, we should remember the teachers and students who have invested years, effort, and lots of money in Anusara yoga. These teachers are the actual victims.

Should we be reflecting upon the ways in which we may have given away power and conferred too much authority upon John Friend? Absolutely. Does that make John Friend the devil? No. Does it make him the victim? No.

The letter continues:

“During this month, many of our licensed teachers resigned (8% in total), including some of our leading teachers. I am very sorry and sad for the hurt that everyone has experienced during this scandal, and over time, I fully believe that truth, clarity, and great soul lessons will be revealed for all of us.”

Here we get more passive language, and a statistic. I would be interested in seeing exactly how that 8% percent is calculated. Given the lists tracking resignations that have been posted to Facebook and Bay Shakti–and given that there are currently 505 members in the Facebook group for teachers who have resigned– I find it hard to believe that the resignations amount to a mere 8%.

Actually, I find it impossible to believe. Actually, I don’t believe it at all. I wish I could say it’s the first time I have been suspicious about statistics John has cited, or claims that John has made, but it’s not. In this case, downplaying the number to 8% would certainly be some good damage control. It would also effectively–and conveniently–marginalize the number of teachers who have left.

You can read her whole post at http://bernadettebirney.com/2012/02/my-response-to-johns-latest-letter.html , there is more good stuff in there.

Free At Last

Anonymous said...

It seems to me that one cannot post more than once a day from the same web address to RoD. My 2nd post didn't show up, or better it deletes itself after a few minutes. Is there a way around that restriction?

Here is Bernadette's clear analysis of a letter that John Friend sent to his teachers, another attempt at damage control. I appreciate how she is taking a close look at the language he uses:

"In that spirit, here are my thoughts on John Friend’s latest letter to the teachers about the future of Anusara yoga.

John Friend writes:

“Three weeks ago private information about me was posted on an illicit website in order to harm me, Anusara yoga, and all those named on the site. Although there has been no investigation or verification of the claims, a wide range of intense reactions and judgments has divided our community.”

This paragraph–in fact the entire letter–is full of troubling passive language. For example, “private information about me was posted on an illicit website in order to harm me…,” and, “…a wide range of intense reactions and judgments has divided our community.” This passive language carefully creates the impression that the circumstances we find ourselves in have somehow just happened to us, rather than being the result of John’s misconduct.

The passivity of the language makes John appear to be the victim of a situation beyond his control. Let us remember that this is not the case. John is not the victim in this situation. Lest attention be diverted away from the actual victims here, we should remember the teachers and students who have invested years, effort, and lots of money in Anusara yoga. These teachers are the actual victims.

Should we be reflecting upon the ways in which we may have given away power and conferred too much authority upon John Friend? Absolutely. Does that make John Friend the devil? No. Does it make him the victim? No.

The letter continues:

“During this month, many of our licensed teachers resigned (8% in total), including some of our leading teachers. I am very sorry and sad for the hurt that everyone has experienced during this scandal, and over time, I fully believe that truth, clarity, and great soul lessons will be revealed for all of us.”

Here we get more passive language, and a statistic. I would be interested in seeing exactly how that 8% percent is calculated. Given the lists tracking resignations that have been posted to Facebook and Bay Shakti–and given that there are currently 505 members in the Facebook group for teachers who have resigned– I find it hard to believe that the resignations amount to a mere 8%.

Actually, I find it impossible to believe. Actually, I don’t believe it at all. I wish I could say it’s the first time I have been suspicious about statistics John has cited, or claims that John has made, but it’s not. In this case, downplaying the number to 8% would certainly be some good damage control. It would also effectively–and conveniently–marginalize the number of teachers who have left.

You can read her whole post at http://bernadettebirney.com/2012/02/my-response-to-johns-latest-letter.html , there is more good stuff in there.

Free At Last

Anonymous said...

In his first answer to Elephant Journal, JF says:
"When you asked me why the teachers left Anusara Yoga in the last few months, I shared with you the official reasons each teacher shared with me. Unequivocally, I can say that none of these teachers told me they were leaving because of these accusations or a problem with my ethical behavior. "

This strikes me as a very bold thing to put out there, since we have heard from many of his senior teachers since then, explaining how many times they had tried talking to him about his unethical behavior. There is no way that he can say he didn't know their real reasons for leaving! He is putting up a smoke screen, using his eloquent & logically-sounding language.

In her widely-read interview in the Huffington Post, Elena Brower states that she asked him to resign in 2011 because of his actions that she had ample opportunity to observe over years, as a close confidant & star teacher in his inner circle.

Elena Brower: " The night I called John to resign, back in October 2011, my first apology was for letting that fear rule my world, for staying for the wrong reasons, when true integrity would have had me leave long before." http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elena-brower/john-friend-controversy_b_1285538.html

Other teachers have reported that when they tried to confront him with those issues, he would go into either denial or anger. In most cases, it sounded like those teachers then retreated, & bent over backwards to stay in his good graces. After all, he had the absolute power to advance their careers, or put them in the dog house. A friend of mine who is an AY teacher & also in SY, told me about the many instances that he embarrassed her in public, or put her on a pedestal & overly praised her, which also made her uncomfortable. It all sounds like the very effective power plays & punishments that George Afif used for 10 plus years to keep people in line.

Doug Keller, the (red-haired) Hatha Yoga teacher whom many of you may remember from SMA, left Anusara in 2003. He saw the signs on the wall. Below is his account on why he left. It is a little long, but since Doug is one of those people in the cross section of SY & AY, it felt relevant. (I think he still is still in SY, not quite sure). This is from the comment section on Amy Ippoliti's article: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/02/amy-ippoliti-life-into-perspective-matters-most/#idc-cover

Doug: "The truth is that I have spoken up over the years, and paid a price for it as well. And the Anusara people have been successful enough in marginalizing my voice, so you really haven’t heard anything of what I have had to say. I do not blame you for that at all.

I have indeed been critical over the years, though I did not know of the worst offenses that have come to light (I only came to know of the sexual charges in the last few months, and have long been wondering how long it would take for this to come out). For the criticisms I have made in the past, I have been largely shunned by the community and blacklisted by Anusara studios.

A specific group of people was assigned to closely follow my every statement in blogs and on Facebook (which I progressively discovered after the fact) and they would immediately denounce every criticism and even rather tame jokes and accuse me of “hate speech” and worse as well as suggest that I had a personality disorder. Just a couple of months ago I asked, in a comment on the EJ interview with JF about the first departures of Christina et al, why there was no follow-up question on Anusara philosophy. My comment was labelled by Anusara commenters as ‘controversial’ and ‘inflammatory’, and a studio in Brooklyn was pressured to cancel my workshop."

To be continued -
Free At last

Anonymous said...

Doug cont'd:

"JF himself spoke to one prominent studio owner in Europe and urged her to stop employing me in their trainings because I had “mental problems.” The studio owner chose not to listen to him, and ceased to invite or support him. I continue to teach in their program.

I did not leave because of issues related to the current state of affairs, because they were not known to me. But there were seeds of that behavior evident in the way he handled his certification system and business dealings at the time, as well as traits in the way in which he handled those who did not fully ‘align’ with him that did not bode well, and I voiced my disagreement with how such things were being handled. For more on those issues and the challenges of addressing those issues with him, Amy’s letter is quite specific and accurate.

I too experienced many of the same difficulties that Darren did with regard to rights to my own work. If I wanted to ‘remain’ with AY, I had to stop producing ALL of my books and submit to a retraining with a certified teacher to bring me back into alignment. And it was quite evident that the path back to his good graces would have been far more difficult than that ultimatum made it seem. That was reason enough to just let it go. All this and more happened AFTER I left AY, and was no longer in a position to make any claims I could substantiate from being on the “inside.”

Within the past year, a longstanding AY teacher in the midwest was decertified simply for the crime of associating with me, and helping to promote one of my workshops. The action of decertification came directly from JF, and teachers in her area seriously badmouthed her (for instance, one in particular accused her of physically and emotionally abusing her students. I have that accusation in writing, though I will spare the accuser of that embarrassment at this point. She has enough embarrassment to deal with already.)

So I have indeed been critical and have largely been unheard except by those who carried the same suspicions (and thus only preaching to the choir). I largely dropped being critical through blogs, etc. because it was a fool’s errand.

I never made such criticisms directly in workshops because that is not what people in the workshops are paying for: they come to learn yoga, not to hear complaints.

In sum, I have been rather successfully demonized for a good number of people within the insular AY community, while the majority ‘outside’ honestly don’t care because they don’t know or care about AY. And those who were involved in AY but harbored doubts were encouraged to have no contact with me, and not to believe a word I say.

So it does lead me to ask, until this whole thing broke, what more would you have had me do, beyond continuing to teach and study, and try to set a different example of being a yoga teacher? I had been successfully discredited as the messenger and had nothing compelling to offer against the firestorm I invited any time I opened my mouth.

I do believe it had to come to this, because even a week ago these ‘accusations’ were being loudly denounced as gossip, slander and lies, even libelous claims that should be prosecuted under the law.

I hope that clarifies things somewhat. As a teacher I’ve done fine since AY, through my own hard work and without association with any brand or style. The world of yoga is far bigger than any brand or style, as many who are leaving Anusara will progressively discover. And I wish them well, and welcome them to freedom. This includes those who previously denounced me for suggesting what they now know to be true."

To Be Continued ...
Free At Last

Anonymous said...

Doug contineud:
"It would be a rather bitter irony that, after years of taking heat for speaking up — and being ignored — I should now be criticized for having said nothing at all.

Your question is indeed important, and I'm glad you asked it, giving me the opportunity to answer -- for myself, at least."

Doug's account sounds way more convincing to me that JF's evasive language & disturbing lack of accountability.

Free At Last

Anonymous said...

One more comment re: JF's lawyer-like language -
Here is a great analysis by Bernadette Birney (senior AY teacher) on a letter that JF sent to his teachers, which was another attempt at damage control.

"{...} here are my thoughts on John Friend’s latest letter to the teachers about the future of Anusara yoga.

John Friend writes:

“Three weeks ago private information about me was posted on an illicit website in order to harm me, Anusara yoga, and all those named on the site. Although there has been no investigation or verification of the claims, a wide range of intense reactions and judgments has divided our community.”

This paragraph–in fact the entire letter–is full of troubling passive language. For example, “private information about me was posted on an illicit website in order to harm me…,” and, “…a wide range of intense reactions and judgments has divided our community.” This passive language carefully creates the impression that the circumstances we find ourselves in have somehow just happened to us, rather than being the result of John’s misconduct.

The passivity of the language makes John appear to be the victim of a situation beyond his control. Let us remember that this is not the case. John is not the victim in this situation. Lest attention be diverted away from the actual victims here, we should remember the teachers and students who have invested years, effort, and lots of money in Anusara yoga. These teachers are the actual victims.

Should we be reflecting upon the ways in which we may have given away power and conferred too much authority upon John Friend? Absolutely. Does that make John Friend the devil? No. Does it make him the victim? No.

The letter continues:

“During this month, many of our licensed teachers resigned (8% in total), including some of our leading teachers. I am very sorry and sad for the hurt that everyone has experienced during this scandal, and over time, I fully believe that truth, clarity, and great soul lessons will be revealed for all of us.”

Here we get more passive language, and a statistic. I would be interested in seeing exactly how that 8% percent is calculated. Given the lists tracking resignations that have been posted to Facebook and Bay Shakti–and given that there are currently 505 members in the Facebook group for teachers who have resigned– I find it hard to believe that the resignations amount to a mere 8%.

Actually, I find it impossible to believe. Actually, I don’t believe it at all. I wish I could say it’s the first time I have been suspicious about statistics John has cited, or claims that John has made, but it’s not. In this case, downplaying the number to 8% would certainly be some good damage control. It would also effectively–and conveniently–marginalize the number of teachers who have left.

You can read her whole post at http://bernadettebirney.com/2012/02/my-response-to-johns-latest-letter.html , there is more good stuff in there.

Free At Last

Anonymous said...

re: " . . . in the middle of this huge controversy, he taught a workshop on 'The Dharma of Relationships', of all things! More senior teachers resigned after that event. Bernadette Birney said in the Elephant Journal, that is was just too much to hear him teach on that subject, after his own serious transgressions in that arena."

In the summer of 1996 I was walking through the main lobby in Fallsburg and saw a sign for an upcoming course propped on an easel. The title was scribed in elegant cursive: "Coming Into Right Relationship With Your Family."

Even back then, at the peak of my devotee-dum, I stood there in front of that sign thinking, "How can they have a course like that on family when Gurumayi has no relationship with her own?"

I kept that thought to myself, of course. But it was my immediate gut reaction.

Just shows me yet again that even in that moment - soaking as I was then like a teabag steeped in all things SY - my true inner compass remained right on the mark, and was always right there, at the ready, patiently waiting for me to pay attention.

But my oh my, the belief that some all-knowing old soul could awaken and guide that voice - if only I paid attention to THEM - was an alluring, romantic notion for such a long, long time. We were told it was the one and only "Perfect Relationship."

Funny how transparent and empty it all seems now.

Lucid

Anonymous said...

Free at Last, thanks for quoting Doug Keller's letter here. Very sad to read about the tactics used by the AY people to discredit him--so similar to ways SY treated its critics (maybe still does, but who cares any more?). So harmful, unkind, dishonest.

Doug made what I thought were wise and balanced comments on this blog several years ago, I think within its first year of existence. No memory of which post(s) he responded to. He's a person with a lot of integrity, I hope he finds satisfaction in that. Those who protect dharma are protected by it.

I'm don't think he's still associated with SY, not sure though. Maybe he will comment here.

older but wiser

Anonymous said...

Sounds like JF was the perfect SY student for shamming the public and them shutting down anyone who tries to speak out that they've been abused. I've been finding this scandal as a verification of my own inner guidance system. I too had many problems in my community when my seva supervisor sent a damning email about me and stupidly the email was sent to me. I busted her to her face, and called everyone in my dept to let them know what the real deal was. But I lost so much respect for those that followed her gossip and shunned me. Many are blocked from my social networks, that's how much I cannot stand them or their bs.

SeekHer said...

Free at Last---thank you for your comments and for posting Doug's email. It speaks volumes, and I'm happy to know that the guy I remember from the ashram is as stand-up and ethical as I always imagined him to be. I wish him---and all the AY teachers who have left well in their quest to continue teaching freely and independently (though not for free! that only happened at the ashram!)

Lucid--I love your comment:

"Just shows me yet again that even in that moment - soaking as I was then like a teabag steeped in all things SY - my true inner compass remained right on the mark, and was always right there, at the ready, patiently waiting for me to pay attention.

But my oh my, the belief that some all-knowing old soul could awaken and guide that voice - if only I paid attention to THEM - was an alluring, romantic notion for such a long, long time. We were told it was the one and only "Perfect Relationship."

Funny how transparent and empty it all seems now."

Yes, post-disenchantment it does seem odd how we could have so abdicated our own sense of self for the alluring, romantic promise that some One else would take over and guide us. I still can't believe it, am still trying to make sense of it.

Anonymous said...

At least you're in good company. ;)

Anonymous said...

from "Misuses of Power"
by Michelle Indianer
March 21, 2012
bayshakti.com

Dear John,

Thank you for your letter today . . .

Unfortunately the letter doesn’t go nearly deep enough to look at the real teacher-student power issues that have been uncovered since the Yoga Dork/JF Exposed disclosures. Leaving it as if it is mainly a sexual indiscretion issue allows too many of your students and teachers to go into denial about the magnitude of the problems still unaddressed by this letter. There are problems that have arisen from the fact that Anusara is a very successful business, where there are thousands of dollars at stake through your patronage or lack thereof. Some concerns that weren’t addressed in your letter are the other misuses of power have been outlined by numerous people online including Amy Ippoliti, Christina Fronsolo Sell, and Bo Srey to name a few . . .

The concern I have that wasn’t addressed in your letter . . . is that you had people close to you lie, cover-up, create written rationalizations, and forced people to betray to themselves in other ways such as blacklisting and excluding friends and teachers that fell out of favor with you. In other words you ask students and friends to betray themselves in order to be loyal or close to you. I was told by a “friend” of yours that you did this even as recently as after this scandal unfolded. I don’t think this is the way friends should show their loyalty and friendship, but apparently it has been a fairly common request from you . . .

http://bayshakti.com/

Anonymous said...

Everything I hear about this scandal is so SY deja vu!

"....had people close to you lie, cover-up, create written rationalizations, and forced people to betray themselves in other ways..."

Yikes, it's uncanny. JF learned his lessons well, from a master. Or should I say a Master?

older but wiser

Anonymous said...

There's an attraction to this latest yoga scandal that I am failing to resist. Yoga gurus have jumped the shark but yoga hasn't. Ditto on integrity of Doug Kellar. Thanks for posting his words here. :-)

Anonymous said...

I am also failing to resist the temptation of this controversy, but I also feel I am actually learning a lot from being actively involved in it.

Thanks for posting quotes from Michelle's very succinct article. The rest of her article is also well worth reading http://bayshakti.com/misuses-of-power#lf_comment=16944619, for the eerie similarities to SY, & how much people are missing the point & keep defending their leader quite viciously.

I was just over there on the BayShakti blog, posting some comments in her defense (as IRM) to snarky over-the-top replies that she has been getting. Some were so bad & attacking of the blog itself, that the blog owner had to delete them.

A similar thing is going on in the Elephant Journal blog, where Doug Keller has been speaking up in response to Friend's latest letter, from March 20. Now I could see it first hand, how he was personally attacked by anonymous posters, hiding behind changing pseudonyms, & firing at him without reprieve: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/03/letter-from-john-march-20-2012/#idc-cover

I can see how effective Anusara Inc's spin control is, sending people out to post aggressive replies, pretending that no evidence has been presented yet & that people are accusing poor John unjustly. It is kind of spooky to see their PR machine in full motion, like a political smear campaign. Very reminiscent to the Salon.com blog after Eat, Pray, Love, which I only read after the heat of the battle was over.

In some ways, Doug Keller strikes me as the "Dan Shaw" of the Anusara debate. He is an identifiable target, & is on the receiving end of similar insults as Dan was when he stood up openly to the powers at SYDA. He is being called resentful & disgruntled, and just not able to get over a personal falling out with Friend.

Doug went through basically being stalked online by the faithful AY followers & enforcers, with people posting aggressive personal attacks, including questioning his mental health & low motives.

The same thing is happening again now in those comment threads, only that at this time more people are playing watch dog. Nobody can explain away Friend's own admissions, even if they were only partial half-truths & full of "seductive misinformation" like a senior resigned AY teacher puts it (Sarah Faircloth)

Seductive misinformation sounds very much like what we have been getting in SY, and since people wanted to believe it in our hearts, they squelched their doubts each time.

Thanks for letting me vent -
Free At Last

Anonymous said...

Thank you for venting FAL. It does help to articulate your thoughts even if they are still forming. While this blog seems quiescent, the spirit pf welcome is here I have found for random posting. Even if there is little action, there's a sense of place. I find this on other blogs too even thought these are vitural spaces. The collective wisdom here has been a source of comfort. I am certain others benefit from your posts even if they are silent.

Thanks Seekher for keeping house for us. :-)

Anonymous said...

Lots of feelings and thoughts come up. I think the critical point I wish to make is that JF's actions are not simply sexual indescretions. We know this because of the pervasive uneithical and harmful actions resulting from the actions. This is another action of Abuse of Power. That is, thinking of it, basic lack of empathy, a lack of compassion and wisdom. It evokes my response to deepen my compssion and wisdom and refrain from falling into synicism (sp sorry) and listlessness.

Om Shanti, Blue

Anonymous said...

In regards to your comment about J. Friend giving a 'Lawyerly' apology, admitting nothing concrete...

Have you ever really listened to or read Douglas Brooks? I would imagine D. Brooks coached John on what to say here. D. Brooks is a master at creating a fabulous verbose impression to the listener whilst actually not saying that much. At least not leaving the listener or reader with take-away points. They leave stimulated, yet not sure why. But I digress...

SeekHer said...

Free at Last---sorry that several of your comments were not posted. I found them when checking my Spam folder, so somehow they got diverted there. Don't think it's a matter of commenting more than once a day, though. Perhaps you used a different browser or IP address for the ones that went astray?

FWIW: I will check Spam folder more often for wayward comments (don't usually like to go there often because, eeeew.)

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